Amazing figures!

Tucker got two medals today, one 1st and one 2nd!

I see patients two days a week and had almost two hundred office visits this month!

Nick fasted for thirty hours, from noon yesterday to six tonight, as part of his youth group's project to raise money and awareness of world hunger!

Our blessings, too numerous to count!

When You're Smiling....

The whole world smiles with you!

Awe

All I can say tonight, as I sit in the dark of this hospital room, is that I am in awe. I am in awe of our Mighty God. I am in awe of the power of prayer. I am in awe of the faith and strength of my child. I am in awe of the devotion of our family and friends. I am in awe of the prayers and support of so many who don't even know us. I am in awe of the words, written and spoken, that found their way to me, to calm me in this storm, just what I needed, when I needed them. I am in awe of the power of a father's love for his son. I am in awe of what God must have in store for Matthew in giving him such healing grace.

I am in awe that I let go, and He gave him back to me.

White Knuckles

I am home from work after a very busy day, Matthew is getting his shower, the others are spending the night with Aunt Debbie, and I am "white knuckling" it. You know, when you are holding on to something so tight that your knuckles turn white? I am holding on to my emotions and my composure. I am holding on to my life and my family as I live today. I am holding on to my dreams for my child (and myself). I am holding on the prayers and expressions of love that we have been overwhelmed with through this journey. I am holding on to the faith of a child, my child.

One of the most difficult moments I have faced in my life was sending my dying infant into surgery, not knowing. . .

He did not die, he thrived.

So I am holding on with white knuckles tonight, praying for the strength and grace to let go tomorrow, let go of my child once again so that he can be healed, to let go and give it all to Him.

I Have to Share This

My son blew me away again today. He was telling me after school that he spoke to his class about his condition and upcoming procedure. He described what would be happening, asked them to say a prayer for him and assured them that he would be fine. Then he goes on to tell me that he tried hard to reassure them that this was not a big deal because he was worried that some of them that had "aggravated" him in the past might think that they had caused his blood pressure to go up and his condition to worsen and he did not want them thinking that or feeling bad. He talked about how kind everyone had been to him through all of this, how much he appreciated it.

How does a 12 year old boy step outside himself to look at things this way, worried about others, not himself? Because He is holding his hand, and Matthew has peace in his heart and there truly are angels among us!

Happy Valentine's Day!

More Matthew Lessons

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr >

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

We are counting down to Matthew's procedure date with mixed feelings. Ready to move forward, fearful over the potential risks, excited over the potential improvements for him. And reminded by a faithful little boy that he is not concerned because there is really nothing any of us can do, he will be made comfortable by the anesthesia, the doctors will take care of him the best they can, and He is watching over him. So it is out of his hands, and he knows that His hands hold him.

Now, he is really more concerned about his basketball tournaments this week, because he feels that these results are up to him and he wants to work hard and do well.

The Serenity Prayer is so perfectly simple and correct, but not always easy to learn to live by no matter what age you are. But when your twelve year old son seems to understand it and stick to it, it really puts it in perspective.

I am very proud of his brothers and the efforts they have made, even when I know they went against their natural inclinations, to make life pretty normal these days while taking care of their brother in subtle ways. Avoiding agitating him, carrying things (Matt is not to lift or strain any weight right now), keeping his needs in mind but keeping it real.

We appreciate your prayers, we know we are never alone, we have Him, and those who love us through Him, who could ask for more?