What are we SUPPOSED to do?

Ok, this might be a little long but here are my thoughts as they roll out. Last week I was watching another middle school boys' basketball game, enjoying visiting with my friends, the other parents and watching our kids. That's what moms are SUPPOSED to do. But then I started crying, which moms do a lot, but are not SUPPOSED to do at the first game of the season, even if our little Christian school was getting stomped because we knew we would get stomped. I was crying because my Matthew was playing his first official basketball game ever. Is he a star player? No. But Matthew was never SUPPOSED to be able to play at recess like the other kids, much less do what he was doing that night. With his congenital heart condition and surgery, there was a time he was not SUPPOSED to live, much less thrive. His MRI of the brain showed that he was SUPPOSED to be clumsy, uncoordinated, and have learning issues. His daddy and I, being doctors, knew that the experts were SUPPOSED to counsel us this way.

But all we knew for sure was that he was God's gift, here to pursue His purpose, for however long we were SUPPOSED to care for him here on earth. But Matthew didn't know how normal little boys were SUPPOSED to feel or act. He just knew he would get tired easy and struggled to do some things. But he has always been joyful, ready to hug, pray for, and cheer on anyone he thought needed it. He would swing for hours when he couldn't run much. He told me as a preschooler that he was SUPPOSED to go Home before the rest of us, he just wanted me to be okay because he was. At eight, he said he was SUPPOSED to go Home but God was letting him stay awhile because we would miss him so much but he didn't know how long. We have done what we thought we were SUPPOSED to do. We have worried and hovered and protected and checked and rechecked and prayed and prayed and prayed about how much we should let him do. We were SUPPOSED to teach him and lift him up but he ended up teaching us more and lifting us up.

So why was I crying? Because Matthew was running and playing and enjoying himself because he has always known we are just SUPPOSED to pray, to put it in God's hands, knowing through Him all things are possible, and that only He knows what is SUPPOSED to happen.